Tofflownak is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, compassionate zebra.

Tofflownak created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofflownak, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tofflownak, she will try to impress you with trees.

Tofflownak's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Tofflownak's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tofflownak.

2. Feed all hungry great tits.

3. Run away from yellow voles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not commit murder.