Stanzedfad Likbenwan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid tapir.

Stanzedfad Likbenwan created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Stanzedfad Likbenwan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stanzedfad Likbenwan, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Stanzedfad Likbenwan's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Stanzedfad Likbenwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.