Talvegrul is a god.

She takes the form of a large, temperamental swan.

Talvegrul created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Talvegrul, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Talvegrul, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Talvegrul's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Talvegrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always treat manatees with great respect.