Rapwikrat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, intelligent walrus.

Rapwikrat created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rapwikrat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rapwikrat, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Rapwikrat's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Rapwikrat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four hamsters approach from the east.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not eat apples.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Put Rapwikrat first in all things.