Fagfadtaf is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, temperamental walrus.

Fagfadtaf created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagfadtaf, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fagfadtaf, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fagfadtaf's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fagfadtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Fagfadtaf loves birds, so they must be honoured.

2. Always wear gray.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always look after injured snakes.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.