Lagtadtad is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, selfish crab.

Lagtadtad created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagtadtad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lagtadtad, it will not invite you to parties.

Lagtadtad's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Lagtadtad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not take Lagtadtad's name in vain.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.