Tifsogwod is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, benevolent snail.

Tifsogwod created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Tifsogwod, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tifsogwod, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tifsogwod's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tifsogwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never talk about great tits.

3. Never wear turquoise dresses.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

5. Do not chop down trees.