Yartsagfagwab is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, compassionate wolf.

Yartsagfagwab created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartsagfagwab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yartsagfagwab, it will come to you in dreams.

Yartsagfagwab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Yartsagfagwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to horses while wearing fawn jumpers.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Never talk about fire.