Vogkinfun is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, calm centipede.

Vogkinfun created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vogkinfun, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vogkinfun, he will remove you from existence.

Vogkinfun's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Vogkinfun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must pray to Vogkinfun five times a day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always stare at clouds.