Cetmiswip is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, emotional jaguar.

Cetmiswip created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetmiswip, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cetmiswip, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cetmiswip's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Cetmiswip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill dogs.

2. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not speak about wheat.

4. You must pray to Cetmiswip seven times a day.

5. Never think ill of sick ducks.