Kemsad Bitfigster is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, confident elephant.

Kemsad Bitfigster created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemsad Bitfigster, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kemsad Bitfigster, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Kemsad Bitfigster's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Kemsad Bitfigster's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kemsad Bitfigster.

2. Always help eagles.

3. Put Kemsad Bitfigster first in all things.

4. Kemsad Bitfigster loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.