Toncantail is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, flying yak.

Toncantail created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Toncantail, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Toncantail, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Toncantail's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Toncantail's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick badgers.

2. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

3. Toncantail must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect four gold sculptures of Toncantail on top of important buildings.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.