Bengadcin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, compassionate newt.

Bengadcin created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bengadcin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bengadcin, he will turn you into a slug.

Bengadcin's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bengadcin's Holy Commandments

1. Bengadcin loves otters, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Bengadcin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.