Kanvadxen Nellsandbum is a god.

He takes the form of a small, dishonourable horse.

Kanvadxen Nellsandbum created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanvadxen Nellsandbum, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kanvadxen Nellsandbum, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Kanvadxen Nellsandbum's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Kanvadxen Nellsandbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. You must pray to Kanvadxen Nellsandbum seven times a day.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Put Kanvadxen Nellsandbum first in all things.