Mitloppindim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous penguin.

Mitloppindim created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitloppindim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mitloppindim, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Mitloppindim's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Mitloppindim's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect four lead sculptures of Mitloppindim on top of important buildings.

3. You must love Mitloppindim.

4. Hide from yellow eagles for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.