Gemwad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, staggering dove.

Gemwad created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemwad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gemwad, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gemwad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gemwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Never skip near nematodes.

4. You must love Gemwad.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.