Gatfatkoppog is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonourable donkey.

Gatfatkoppog created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatfatkoppog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gatfatkoppog, she will try to impress you with trees.

Gatfatkoppog's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gatfatkoppog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat melons.

2. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Gatfatkoppog on top of all buildings.

4. Worship no other gods but Gatfatkoppog.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.