Flatnurlflan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unselfish raccoon.

Flatnurlflan created the Virgo Supercluster nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatnurlflan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flatnurlflan, he will be very unhappy.

Flatnurlflan's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Flatnurlflan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Flatnurlflan.

3. Do not kill capybaras.

4. Worship no other gods but Flatnurlflan.

5. Do not shave your face.