Hakrowcudfen Tifxinmidpig Vedwonsit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, flying crocodile.

Hakrowcudfen Tifxinmidpig Vedwonsit created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakrowcudfen Tifxinmidpig Vedwonsit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hakrowcudfen Tifxinmidpig Vedwonsit, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hakrowcudfen Tifxinmidpig Vedwonsit's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Hakrowcudfen Tifxinmidpig Vedwonsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Always look after injured hamsters.

3. Do not hurt rats.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hakrowcudfen Tifxinmidpig Vedwonsit.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.