Dubnelpadbess is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, fast hippopotamus.

Dubnelpadbess created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubnelpadbess, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dubnelpadbess, it will think nothing of it.

Dubnelpadbess' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Dubnelpadbess' Holy Commandments

1. Snakes are not to be trusted.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Never think about stars.