Bedjabnan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, emotional elephant.

Bedjabnan created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedjabnan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bedjabnan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Bedjabnan's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bedjabnan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never hurt seals.

4. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

5. Do not listen to music.