Higjopfidkam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, happy wasp.

Higjopfidkam created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Higjopfidkam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Higjopfidkam, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Higjopfidkam's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Higjopfidkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Hide from green aardvarks for they are unholy.

4. Never wear skirts.

5. Never talk about swans.