Jonlikbonk is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered crane.

Jonlikbonk created the Sunflower Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonlikbonk, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jonlikbonk, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jonlikbonk's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Jonlikbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Jonlikbonk loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Jonlikbonk on top of all buildings.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jonlikbonk.