Safjenjam is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, competent crow.

Safjenjam created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safjenjam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Safjenjam, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Safjenjam's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Safjenjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never hurt foxes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.