Femtadxen is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent spider.

Femtadxen created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Femtadxen, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Femtadxen, it will curse you with boils.

Femtadxen's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Femtadxen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three pigs approach from the south.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Feed all hungry seals.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.