Quartbadcip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, caring armadillo.

Quartbadcip created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartbadcip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quartbadcip, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quartbadcip's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Quartbadcip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight copper sculptures of Quartbadcip on top of important buildings.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect your elders.