Labbassciss is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, dishonest chicken.

Labbassciss created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labbassciss, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Labbassciss, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Labbassciss' most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Labbassciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of nematodes.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Hide if six great tits approach from the south.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not hurt doves.