Tarpmapgup is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless manatee.

Tarpmapgup created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpmapgup, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tarpmapgup, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Tarpmapgup's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tarpmapgup's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always wear pink.