Nakvinflapweesawgampidvab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, merciless horse.

Nakvinflapweesawgampidvab created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakvinflapweesawgampidvab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nakvinflapweesawgampidvab, he will turn you into a rock.

Nakvinflapweesawgampidvab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Nakvinflapweesawgampidvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always obey Nakvinflapweesawgampidvab's priests.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Run away if four doves approach from the south.