Hogbodlip Bestquillgof is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, flying scorpion.

Hogbodlip Bestquillgof created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogbodlip Bestquillgof, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hogbodlip Bestquillgof, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Hogbodlip Bestquillgof's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Hogbodlip Bestquillgof's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green great tits for they are unholy.

2. Put Hogbodlip Bestquillgof first in all things.

3. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.