Donriggom Bepdimquim is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, almighty bat.

Donriggom Bepdimquim created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Donriggom Bepdimquim, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Donriggom Bepdimquim, she will boil you in a big pot.

Donriggom Bepdimquim's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Donriggom Bepdimquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not take Donriggom Bepdimquim's name in vain.

3. Run away if four bats approach from the south.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never pour water over plants.