Tettilakfas is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered fish.

Tettilakfas created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettilakfas, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tettilakfas, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Tettilakfas' most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tettilakfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Run away if six tortoises approach from the north.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not commit murder.