Beppodzim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, witless pigeon.

Beppodzim created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beppodzim, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Beppodzim, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Beppodzim's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Beppodzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Never think about moons.