Stafhograg Xuccubjig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, witty hummingbird.

Stafhograg Xuccubjig created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafhograg Xuccubjig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stafhograg Xuccubjig, he will turn you into a rock.

Stafhograg Xuccubjig's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Stafhograg Xuccubjig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.