Siswonyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, benevolent coyote.

Siswonyarp created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Siswonyarp, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Siswonyarp, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Siswonyarp's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Siswonyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise coats.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.