Tarpwigkar is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, resourceful meerkat.

Tarpwigkar created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpwigkar, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tarpwigkar, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tarpwigkar's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tarpwigkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never write about planets.