Damjarngonfebbensin is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awesome goat.

Damjarngonfebbensin created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Damjarngonfebbensin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Damjarngonfebbensin, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Damjarngonfebbensin's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Damjarngonfebbensin's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Erect nine tin sculptures of Damjarngonfebbensin on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.