Mumortgon is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating crab.

Mumortgon created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumortgon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mumortgon, she will turn you into a rock.

Mumortgon's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Mumortgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Worship no other gods but Mumortgon.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help bats in need.