Veendavgeb is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful octopus.

Veendavgeb created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veendavgeb, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Veendavgeb, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Veendavgeb's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Veendavgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peanuts.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Always wear black.

5. Feed all hungry eagles.