Sasbissxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, humorless seal.

Sasbissxuc created the Tadpole Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Sasbissxuc, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sasbissxuc, he will torture you forever.

Sasbissxuc's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Sasbissxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Never feed wheat to nematodes while wearing yellow boots.

5. Hide from cyan eagles for they are unholy.