Kopwikquat Dogdidfenvagrotfas Hudyakbess is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, sapient jaguar.

Kopwikquat Dogdidfenvagrotfas Hudyakbess created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopwikquat Dogdidfenvagrotfas Hudyakbess, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kopwikquat Dogdidfenvagrotfas Hudyakbess, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kopwikquat Dogdidfenvagrotfas Hudyakbess' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Kopwikquat Dogdidfenvagrotfas Hudyakbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill horses.

2. Do not speak about pineapples.

3. Kopwikquat Dogdidfenvagrotfas Hudyakbess loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not shave your arms.