Titzogzan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish rhinoceros.

Titzogzan created the Whirlpool Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Titzogzan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Titzogzan, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Titzogzan's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Titzogzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt ducks.

2. Never hurt tortoises.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hide from pink gulls for they are unholy.

5. Always obey Titzogzan's priests.