Karlakgan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, duplicitous cow.

Karlakgan created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Karlakgan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Karlakgan, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Karlakgan's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Karlakgan's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.