Hittipbit is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable duck.

Hittipbit created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hittipbit, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hittipbit, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hittipbit's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Hittipbit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Put Hittipbit first in all things.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Worship no other gods but Hittipbit.

5. Hittipbit must be the most important thing in your life.