Bugpibdantifomt is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fussy guinea pig.

Bugpibdantifomt created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugpibdantifomt, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bugpibdantifomt, he will turn you into a goat.

Bugpibdantifomt's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bugpibdantifomt's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bugpibdantifomt.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never mention tortoises.

4. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

5. Never pour water over plants.