Kingabzig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, deceitful spider.

Kingabzig created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kingabzig, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Kingabzig, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kingabzig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Kingabzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lemons.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Hide if five eagles approach from the east.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kingabzig.