Zodgenmum is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, competent deer.

Zodgenmum created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Zodgenmum, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zodgenmum, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zodgenmum's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Zodgenmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not cook food in pots.