Cusstagrak is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, loving lobster.

Cusstagrak created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cusstagrak, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cusstagrak, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cusstagrak's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Cusstagrak's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think ill of sick turtles.

4. Never feed limes to geese while wearing white skirts.

5. You must love Cusstagrak.