Japtuncamtofrillpod is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, selfish snake.

Japtuncamtofrillpod created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japtuncamtofrillpod, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Japtuncamtofrillpod, it will destroy your favourite star.

Japtuncamtofrillpod's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Japtuncamtofrillpod's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always treat otters with great respect.

3. Japtuncamtofrillpod must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not eat rice.

5. Never look at nebulae.