Gablarnhit Wipcenyak is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unfair warg.

Gablarnhit Wipcenyak created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gablarnhit Wipcenyak, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gablarnhit Wipcenyak, she will be very unhappy.

Gablarnhit Wipcenyak's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gablarnhit Wipcenyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.